i’d want you by my side

i let myself read about the world today
perhaps the days i don’t are better

saw a title on the sidelines
the sadness of a mother after the death of her baby son
didn’t click

i don’t know if he was born
if so how long he lived
but my mind went wondering
so unfocused

i thought about how heavy, how huge that experience must be
how difficult it would be, to ever walk straight again
to ever smile for more than a brief accidental reflex

and for the second time
i thought
about how easily i broke


i am fortunate.

if there’s one thing i’d like to learn
it’s to appreciate moments, people and places
before they are eternally gone

they wouldn’t have to go
at all


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